before I tell the story I need to briefly explain our attack mechanics. You can attack once per round and no modifiers but fighter's get extra expendable attacks, and barbarians get an extra damage dice every hit and expendable damage dice. these dice are our wierd ones. like d22, d24,d26 for attacks and stacks of D6's for damage.
We had been leading up to a game and had left off in a town that was a possible target for a raid by some frost giants. Our Dm had been telling us all week "If you don't play this smart you will all die." and we had been stressing because we knew he didn't make idle threats.
We made plans and strategies all week. We had decided on ranged characters standing atop a bridge the enemy's ship would have to go beneath. and all the melee guys would just wait at the landing area. My buddy's blacksmith fighter Named Bowie Tolliver had created a sort of armored personnel carrier that could hold five or six peasants who could poke spears out and still be completely protected.
We stood on the bridge together, discussing possible retreat options and how to save as many innocents as possible. My buddy the sword mage named Landren looks at Maham, my giant blooded barbarian with armor that made his rage frenzied and required a willpower save to stop raging or it would fight whatever was near (this will be important later) and suggests we try to lower their morale before we move to the place we would fight. we agree that he with his higher personality stat will taunt them, and I with my ability to speak giant would translate.
When the ship arrived on the horizon we could see the huge forms of the giants, their armor made of mysterious metals and the smaller forms of their barbarian shock troops.
Landren began feeding Maham the insults, insult their honor, talk bad about their lame ship, say something about their mothers. an NPC mercenary asked me what I was saying to them and I told him. He smiled, turned to the small force we had and yelled
"They're talking about their mothers!"
Our troops rejoiced and a giant responded to the taunt causing Maham to laugh. Landren asked what they said and Maham replied.
"I'll tell you later."
As the Giant's longboat approached Landren looked to Maham and said. "We should jump onto the ship." I paused for a moment and looked to my buddy playing an npc barbarian becasue his druid was away, and he just grinned.
Maham looked at our mercenaries and smiled before he raged causing the helmet on his sentient magic armor, heavily influenced by the berserk armor from Berserk and named Blooddrinker, to snap up over his head in the shape of a T-rex head. The armor belted out a terrifying jurrasic park roar and i leaped onto the ship.
The Dm had a look of shock and horror on his face, in his mind, we had just commited suicide. He looked around at us and said: "Since I'm surprised you did this, so are they. I'll give you a surprise round."
We agreed Landren would go first, he rolled a spell and did fire damage to the first line of barbarians. Maham went next and rushed past the mooks straight to the boss, A frost giant bigger than all the rest with jagged and spiked armor, wielding an intimidating greatsword in one hand.
I decide this guy is a problem and charge forth with my giant anime sword (i know, shut up, it's cool) I swing once with my d24, only just meeting his 18 ac. I expend every one of my extra barbarian damage dice on him and he staggers, I raise my sword again and expend my next attack dice. 22 on the d22 a crit that does double the damage rolled. the next attack 19 on the d20 more damage done. I decide if he is still standing I need to do all I can to not feel his backlash. I expend my d18 and crit again which is the only way to hit him with this dice.
The giant reeled and the dm gave an exhale as if to say "Here we go" and we roll initiative. I get the highest initiative and go to use my singular d20 attack. Crit… max damage. My sword cleaves through the boss giant's stomach and with a wrench of metal and slosh of cold gore the giant dies.
our celebration doesn't last long as the barbarians and remaining giants too have expendable damage/attacks. We barely defeat the shipload of enemies leaving a singular giant swimming for the horizon and a burning ship slowly sinking.
We all celebrate a moment before the Dm speaks up.
"Hey, how many rounds of rage does Maham have left?"
My blood ran cold, as I replied that I had 6 rounds left. Landren the sword mage had been not quite as careful with his spell placement as Blooddrinker would've liked. My buddy playing Landren had been hit by me in this state before and dove off the ship into the frigid water rather than face me down.
Later when we all laid down for our rest, Beaten and bloodied, Landren looked over to Maham and asked;
"So what did that giant say?"
I smiled and replied;
"he said he was going to skull F*** you…"
Landren gulped and in a shaky voice said.
"I'm glad we won."
[zombify_post]
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